Money can have a huge impact on our relationships. According to the relationship charity Relate, money worries are the biggest source of strain between couples across the UK. A Lloyds Bank report found 44% of UK adults have avoided talking about money with their partner.

Where does this tension come from? Conflict often happens when partners have significantly different incomes, or different attitudes towards money.

Your emotional relationship with money

You might think of finance as being a rational topic, but it affects our emotions in all kinds of ways. Consider the ideas about money that you’ve grown up with and take for granted. Coming to terms with how you both feel about money can help you to talk with a better understanding of one another’s perspective.

Start the conversation

If talking about money usually winds up in an argument, reduce the emotional charge by agreeing to approach the discussion in a calm, logical way.

Tips to ease your discussion:

  • Take turns to list your concerns. Both of you should feel as though you’ve been listened to and understood
  • When you’ve both had your say, think about fair, practical plans to tackle any issues together
  • Be ready to compromise. Like most relationship discussions, this is a negotiation
  • Draw up a plan. Write down the steps you both agree could help
  • Make a date. Agree a time to review your plan and check that everything is working for you both

Money Matters

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