dealing with change from a mental health expert

Change, it can impact us all in so many different ways. Sometimes we take it in our stride, and other times, it gets the better of us. Discover how to handle it with these practical tips from mental health expert, Kirsty Lilley.

Rate this content

Change can be major – such as getting married, moving house or being made redundant.

Here, mental health expert, Kirsty Lilley, shares some practical tips for effectively dealing with change.  

remember it’s ok not to be ok 

Your feelings (good or bad) are a completely normal and understandable response to change. Allow yourself to ease into the situation. Give yourself time to process how you feel about the changes. Anxiety may be pushing you to rush back into the world, but try to go at your own pace. Dealing with change is mentally and physically tiring. 

Make time for periods of rest and replenishment. A rested mind and nourished body will make better decisions moving forward. 

take it a step at a time 

Day-by-day or hour-by-hour if you need to. 

The most effective use of your time and energy is to focus on what you can control right now. Focusing on short-term outcomes will help you navigate each day with a sense of control, and make sure you have enough energy and motivation to keep going. 

Break problems down into manageable pieces. Then, prioritise what is most important to you right now and develop an action plan for moving forward. Try these 10 steps to take when dealing redunandacy to help get you started.

see things differently  

Instead of dreading changes, try to view them as an opportunity to learn. If you can see change in a positive – rather than negative – light, it can boost your resilience and help you deal with it more positively too. 

Meanwhile, instead of letting change creep up on you, try to be more proactive and look out for any changes that may be coming. Thinking ahead and planning for the future can also make you feel that you have more control over what happens to you. 

Ask yourself:What’s good about this? How can I use this? What can I learn from this to help me in the future? 

Helpful thought: This feels difficult right now, but what else is true? What feels positive? 

keep a record  

The next time you're facing a major change, writing down how you feel about it, as well as how you plan to deal with it, could be useful. 

After you have recorded your feelings, decide what you want to achieve in relation to the change in question. Then write down your goals and how you plan to make them happen, including any skills you may have that could help. Be really specific where your goals are concerned, and think about how you can measure success. Don't forget to set achievable goals and, where possible, establish a clear timeframe for reaching them. 

move on 

When change comes along that you can't control, don't let it get the better of you. Try to carry on with everything else in your life as normally as possible. Realise there are some things you can and can’t do, and instead of dwelling on any mistakes you may have made, put them behind you and move on. 

One way to keep your worries in perspective is to take a long-term view. For instance, how do you see the changes that are happening now affecting you in one, two or six months? Remind yourself that change never lasts, and that things will become normal again at some point as the change becomes more familiar to you. To help build back your confidence here’s how you can bounce back from redundancy.

look after yourself  

Change can be exhausting, mentally and physically. Instead of battling through it, take time to recharge your batteries. This doesn't have to involve a complete break, but could be something as simple as taking a walk to clear your head

Sometimes, change can also mean less time to yourself – after having a promotion at work, for instance, when you may feel pressured into working longer hours. At times like these, it's especially important to remember to eat healthily, get some exercise and relax as much as possible. 

Change is inevitable. But how we deal with it doesn’t always have to be the same. Adopting a positive mindset and tackling it proactively, no matter how daunting this may seem at first, can really pay off on multiple levels. Remember, dealing with change is rarely instant, and that coping or adapting to it can take time. Be patient, be kind to yourself and accept it as much as you possibly can. 

struggling to come to terms with a redundancy?

From a listening ear, to counselling sessions with a qualified counsellor, we'll help you work through any difficulties you're facing. Get in touch today and let us help support you.

contact us

training and events

25 April 2024

master the art of resilience

This course provides a deep insight into mastering resilience. You’ll learn sustainable habits and practices that are scientifically proven to …
enhanced webinar
1 May 2024

espresso financial wellbeing

When our finances start to feel out of control, this can have a knock-on effect on our mental and physical wellbeing. Discover ways to balance …
espresso series
8 May 2024

espresso look after your wellbeing during exams

Unlock the keys to a healthier, more balanced exam season. Discover practical strategies to manage stress, boost focus, and maintain mental …
espresso series
9 May 2024

make a living, have a life

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by the many demands placed on you day-to-day? This course explores how to make the most of the time and energy …
enhanced webinar

view all training and events 

your questions answered 

Who is eligible for support?

We support past and present members of the Institute of Chartered Accountants of England and Wales (ICAEW), ACA students, ICAEW staff members, and the family and carers of members and students. 

  1. No matter where your career takes you, past and present members of the Institute of Chartered Accountants of England Wales (ICAEW) are eligible for caba’s services for life, even if you change your career and leave accountancy 
  2. ACA students (ICAEW Provisional Members) who are either an active student or have been an active student within the last three years are eligible for caba's services 
  3. Past and present staff members of the ICAEW or caba are eligible for caba's services for life, even if you leave either organisation. Please note, for former employees, our financial support is only available to those who have had five years continuous employment with either organisation 
  4. Family members and carers of either an eligible past or present ICAEW member, ACA student or past or present employee of the ICAEW or caba are eligible for caba's support. We define a family member as a: 
    1. spouse, civil partner or cohabiting partner 
    2. widow, widower or surviving civil partner who has not remarried or cohabiting with a partner 
    3. divorced spouse or civil partner who has not remarried or cohabiting with a partner 
    4. child aged up to 25. Please note, children aged between 16 and 25 are not eligible for individual financial support 
    5. any other person who is dependent on the eligible individual supporting them financially or are reliant on the eligible individual’s care 
    6. any other person on whom the eligible individual is reliant, either financially or for care 

You can find out more about our available support both in the UK and around the world on our support we offer  page. 

Are your services means-tested?

If you need financial support, we carry out a means test where we consider income, expenditure, capital and assets.  

*Please note none of our other services are means-tested. 

I’m an accountant, but not a member of ICAEW, can you still help?

Unfortunately not. We only support past and present ICAEW members, their carers and their families. If we are unable to support you, where possible we will point you to help elsewhere.

caba has supported me in the past; can I receive support from caba again?

We understand that circumstances change. If we’ve helped you in the past there’s no reason why we can’t help you again. You can contact us at any time. Please call us if you need our help.

view more questions



Not got the answer to your question?